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&we kiss like little kids.

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rock bottom. [Tue/Dec/2009 at 9:49am]
i've never considered myself to have hit rock bottom
yeah,some terrible things have happened in my life but i've always recovered from them...

but today i'm admitting it.i have officially hit rock bottom.
i've gotten 8 hours of sleep in the past 5 days.i've never cried this much in my life.
this is the hardest thing i've ever had to go through,the worst i have ever felt in my entire life.
i am honestly at a loss as to what i should do from here... everything is absolutely hopeless, i'm usually the one with the soothing words,the one who can relax the situation and make everyone happy.
i can even do this to myself.

but not anymore.
there's nothing that can help me but time.and that is the hardest thing i've realized.

he's out there somewhere... with her... fucking her... kissing her... pulling her hair away from her face so he can stare into her eyes... and she is nothing. NOTHING.

i am insanely depressed.
i feel like i'm back in my acid days,where i can't trust anyone or anything.i am the definition of a zombie... completely void of all emotion,left alone in the dark.i will always love him and always stand by him,i just wish he knew that... and would listen to the people in his life that are actually there for him instead of for what he has.

goddammit trevor i am in love with you.
remember what you told me.

"if you love me you will wait."

i meant every last word during our visit.you are my everything.i've never felt,or even cared,this much about one person before.it's more than our relationship.it's the way that our bodies fit like puzzle pieces,the way that you kiss me awake in the mornings when i wake up in your bed.it's the way that you warm my feet when they're cold,even though you hate other people's feet.it's the way that when we fall asleep at night,you hold me tight and tell me that you'll never let go.

and now you're letting go.

[Fri/Apr/2007 at 11:13pm]
anonymous.
ask me anything.
tell me anything.
tell me you love me or hate me.
i don't care.


comments are screened.
0220 comment !

[Mon/Apr/2007 at 4:51pm]
wow
bazooka gum loses flavor FAST.


lame!
0110 comment !

[Sun/Jan/2007 at 6:20pm]
friends only.
comment+add me first.
0750 comment !

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